I am writing you this letter because I love you. It's a love letter of sorts. Yes we can call it a love letter. It is a letter about love, to my loves from a place of deep, deep love. I can not express to you in words how deep my affection is for you and how so VERY precious your hearts are to me.
You are quite young now and don't fully appreciate the story of your dad and I. But there will come a time, a time that I fear is not far off, a time that will sneak up on me too quickly, the time when you are ready to date and one day marry. A time when you will become women, a time when you will write a story of your own.
There are so many wonderful pieces of advice about love and relationships that will be shared with you over time. I just wanted to take some time now to share with you some of the lessons I hope you will learn from the story of your dad and I. This list is not all inclusive, and I might even change my mind about some of these things as you grow and I also grow in wisdom. They were a part of my experience, so they may or may not apply to you in your experiences. But from where I sit now, these things are important for me to share with you.
Above anything else you EVER learn about relationships, I pray that these two truths stick with you:
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"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself." ~ Matthew 22:37-39
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Those two lessons are the MOST valuable I hope you learn before you are ready to date because they will guide you to the right relationships.
Here are some other smaller lessons that I learned specifically from dating your dad:
-Don't get hung up on a 'type'
Jocks, blondes, nerds, etc. You are going to be attracted to people who have similar interests as you, but be open to branching out of your normal circle. As long as they have integrity, strong moral character, are honest and love Jesus then they are worth getting to know. This doesn't just go for boyfriends, but anyone for that matter.
-Be friends first
Naturally you are going to find certain guys attractive and you will be drawn to them, just make sure you REALLY get to know them first. Set up healthy boundaries to keep the physical in check so your judgement isn't clouded.
-A sense of humor is crucial
Life requires you to be serious often enough. You need to have a partner who makes life fun.
-Chivalry is not archaic
Opening doors, pulling out chairs and helping you with your coat doesn't mean he is old fashioned or thinks you are incapable of taking care of yourself. It means he respects you.
-Be honest in both words and actions
Let your actions support your words, and let your words be noble and true.
-Listen to your friends
Most moms wouldn't say this and depending on your friends in 10 year, I might change my tune, but as long as you have picked trustworthy friends who have your best interests at heart, listen to them. They know you, they can see how a relationship is affecting you either positively or negatively
-Be yourself
This doesn't just mean act who you are, but also continue to grow yourself by yourself. Continue to do the things that fill you up and recharge you (reading, exercising, crafting, sleeping whatever) so that you have energy and substance to give others.
-Do your best
There is no script for life or love and every experience is different. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Learn to say you're sorry or that you made a mistake. BE HUMBLE
-Protect your heart
Every time you fall for someone, not matter how hard you fall, you give them a little piece of your heart. It might only be memories that you share with them, but you want to have as much of a whole heart to give to your husband as possible.
-Don't be afraid to give your heart away.
At some point you have to be vulnerable in order to fall in love. Once you find that right guy, IT'S OKAY TO FALL FOR HIM AND FALL HARD!!!!
When the time comes for you to begin dating and eventually marry, know that you are prepared. You are going to have some bumps along the way, but you are strong. We will always be here for you. You would be beyond blessed to find a man LIKE your dad, but NOT your dad. Your dad is right for me, but there is a man out there specifically for you. We pray for him constantly, and I can't wait for you to meet him. Until then...
ENJOY BEING YOUNG AND BEING YOU!
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