Our Story: Part 4 "The E-mail"

IU had an online address book of sorts where you could look up anyone on campus' e-mail and dorm phone number.  It wasn't unusual or creepy for someone on campus to e-mail you without you giving out your address (this was 2004 people, if he had Instant Messaged me that would be creepy haha).  Sunday evening I was doing my homework like any good student when I got an e-mail titled "Inquiring Minds...."

It was from Phil and here is some (the abbreviated version) of what it said:

"It was a pleasure seeing you at church this morning....I won't take much of your time...I didn't find it appropriate to ask you in front of your guest this morning, but 'What is your availability?'...I don't know if you are involved, looking or just enjoying life.  If it's a possibility, I'd like to get to know you better."

**As a side note, once we had been dating for a while (spoiler alert, we got married) he gave me a gift of all the original e-mails we had exchanged.  It was months worth of e-mails and it was the sweetest gift.  I still have them which is how I remember verbatim what he said (I have a decent memory, but not that perfect!).

I'd be lying to say I didn't get those butterflies.  But I was smart about them.  I knew they were the kind of butterflies you get when you are flattered, not the kind that you get because of someone specific.

I responded with (again abbreviated):

 "...As far as my status, I am single, but honestly I'm not actively looking for anything because I feel like God will show his plan for me when the time is right.  With that being said, this may seem contradictory, but I would like to get to know you better also..."

I was truly torn.  I KNEW I wasn't ready for a relationship.  I had a lot of personal growing I needed to do still. And I was dating Jesus:)  I felt like a hypocrite telling him I didn't want a boyfriend, but my actions were saying otherwise by agreeing to hang out.

And WHY was I agreeing to get to know him better?  Was it because I actually was interested in him? Was it because I was flattered and like being pursued?  Was it because I felt obligated?  Or was it because this seemed different, because I had laid down groundwork and expectations first?  I really don't know what I was feeling, but I do remember thinking, he is kind of cute, but I don't even really know that he's my type, whatever that means.

After exchanging several e-mails back and forth, we finally agreed on a day and time to "HANG OUT" (let's be honest, it was a first date, I just didn't want to admit that at the time).  Our first date hang out was set to be a hike at Griffy Lake.

As promised, he arrived 2 minutes early wearing light wash baggy jeans, a big black coat and Timberlands (I am not sure what I thought of his outfit, but I was ready to go in my red IU hoodie, Northface vest and matching red Sauconys).

Our first date hang out was a huge success in my opinion.  As we hiked walked for an hour around the lake we had an excellent conversation which carried into coffee at Starbucks.  I sensed from our conversation that we had very similar upbringings and that his family was really important to him.  Conversation came easily but I certainly still had my guard up.

The date time together ended and he drove me home.  I made it VERY obvious that personal space was going to be respected.  I gave him an honest 'Thank you, I had a great time" and without so much as a hug, hand shake or high five, I climbed out of the car and went inside.

It had been a nice time, and maybe it was because I didn't want to get involved, or maybe it was because he wasn't the typical guy I dated, or maybe God was just helping me protect my heart, but whatever the reason

I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE THOSE BUTTERFLIES....