A Love Letter For My Girls

Dear Daughters,

I am writing you this letter because I love you.  It's a love letter of sorts.  Yes we can call it a love letter.  It is a letter about love, to my loves from a place of deep, deep love.  I can not express to you in words how deep my affection is for you and how so VERY precious your hearts are to me.

You are quite young now and don't fully appreciate the story of your dad and I.  But there will come a time, a time that I fear is not far off, a time that will sneak up on me too quickly, the time when you are ready to date and one day marry. A time when you will become women, a time when you will write a story of your own.

There are so many wonderful pieces of advice about love and relationships that will be shared with you over time.  I just wanted to take some time now to share with you some of the lessons I hope you will learn from the story of your dad and I.  This list is not all inclusive, and I might even change my mind about some of these things as you grow and I also grow in wisdom.  They were a part of my experience, so they may or may not apply to you in your experiences.  But from where I sit now, these things are important for me to share with you. 

Above anything else you EVER learn about relationships, I pray that these two truths stick with you:

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-You are precious, valuable and loved just as you are. "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made" ~ Psalm 139:14

-A woman's heart must be so hidden in God that a man must seek Him to find her. ~ Maya Angelou
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself." ~ Matthew 22:37-39

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Those two lessons are the MOST valuable I hope you learn before you are ready to date because they will guide you to the right relationships.

Here are some other smaller lessons that I learned specifically from dating your dad:

-Don't get hung up on a 'type'
Jocks, blondes, nerds, etc. You are going to be attracted to people who have similar interests as you, but be open to branching out of your normal circle.  As long as they have integrity, strong moral character, are honest and love Jesus then they are worth getting to know.  This doesn't just go for boyfriends, but anyone for that matter.

-Be friends first
Naturally you are going to find certain guys attractive and you will be drawn to them, just make sure you REALLY get to know them first. Set up healthy boundaries to keep the physical in check so your judgement isn't clouded.

-A sense of humor is crucial
Life requires you to be serious often enough.  You need to have a partner who makes life fun.

-Chivalry is not archaic
Opening doors, pulling out chairs and helping you with your coat doesn't mean he is old fashioned or thinks you are incapable of taking care of yourself.  It means he respects you.

-Be honest in both words and actions
Let your actions support your words, and let your words be noble and true.

-Listen to your friends
Most moms wouldn't say this and depending on your friends in 10 year, I might change my tune, but as long as you have picked trustworthy friends who have your best interests at heart, listen to them.  They know you, they can see how a relationship is affecting you either positively or negatively

-Be yourself
This doesn't just mean act who you are, but also continue to grow yourself by yourself.  Continue to do the things that fill you up and recharge you (reading, exercising, crafting, sleeping whatever) so that you have energy and substance to give others.

-Do your best
There is no script for life or love and every experience is different.  Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Learn to say you're sorry or that you made a mistake.  BE HUMBLE

-Protect your heart
Every time you fall for someone, not matter how hard you fall, you give them a little piece of your heart.  It might only be memories that you share with them, but you want to have as much of a whole heart to give to your husband as possible.

-Don't be afraid to give your heart away.
At some point you have to be vulnerable in order to fall in love. Once you find that right guy, IT'S OKAY TO FALL FOR HIM AND FALL HARD!!!!

When the time comes for you to begin dating and eventually marry, know that you are prepared.  You are going to have some bumps along the way, but you are strong.  We will always be here for you.  You would be beyond blessed to find a man LIKE your dad, but NOT your dad.  Your dad is right for me, but there is a man out there specifically for you. We pray for him constantly, and I can't wait for you to meet him.  Until then...

ENJOY BEING YOUNG AND BEING YOU!

Our Story: Part 9 "Phone Call"

We had had 'THE TALK', but now where did that leave me?

Later that afternoon, after 'the lunch', I went to practice and went about my normal day.  I thought about Phil a bit, but I kept busy so I didn't think about it too much.

Sunday came and went and I didn't see Phil at church or Sunday night worship.

Monday and Tuesday passed without phone calls.

Wednesday we didn't meet up for our usual Wednesday morning breakfast devotional.

Thursday Lesley came home from class and said to me, "Morgs, I know he isn't this way around you, but Phil is seriously awesome."

That was like a little paper cut.  That comment ate at me all day and it wasn't because Lesley thought he was cool, or that he actually was cool around other people, but it bugged me because I had been missing him A LOT and I didn't want to admit it and I didn't want to be reminded of him and I was too proud to say maybe I made a mistake.

So I didn't say anything until Saturday night.

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We had played a spring tournament and Lesley's dad was in town to watch and hang out with us.  He made this awesome steak dinner with yummy mushroom and cheese toppings (YUM), and I really don't remember how it came up, but eventually I spilled my guts and shared that I missed Phil and I think I made a mistake.

After talking it out for several hours, Joe and Lesley convinced me that I had nothing to lose by giving Phil a shot.  They talked me up and I finally built up the courage to call him.

It was around 10:00 on a Saturday night and I was SO nervous.  The phone rang and rang and it never occured to me that he might not answer.

So when the voicemail picked up, I was so unprepared that this is the garbage that spewed out of my mouth:

"Hey Phil, This is Morgan Albini, I don't know if you remember me but I was just hoping we could talk.  Can you call me back when you get the chance.  Thanks."

Ummm...Had I really just said, "I don't know if you remember me".  We had only hung out for the past two months on a very regular basis and you called my dad the week before.

He didn't call me back that night.  I went to church the next morning hoping to see him, but he wasn't there.

Around 4:00 I finally got the phone call I had been waiting for.  He told me he had gone home for the weekend and had been busy doing stuff with his family when I called the night before.

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I made small talk for several minutes and finally Phil cut to the chase.

"So, Morgan, why did you call?"  I could almost hear the smugness in his voice.

I continued to blubber and stumble over my words for a minute or so before he finally saved me.

"Do you want to give this another shot?"

How did he know exactly what to say.  He had every right to yell, "I told you so" but he still managed to let me keep my dignity in tact.

I said something non-committal like, "yeah, I guess so."

Then he hit me with a gut check again.

"Well, my feelings for you haven't changed.  I am willing to give us another shot, under one condition; you give it 100%.  I'm not saying we're going to get married, but I just need to know that if we are going to have a relationship that you are going to give it your full effort and be completely honest with me. 

 Are you in?"

ARE YOU IN?

ARE YOU IN?

ARE YOU IN?

The way he asked me felt less like a question and more of a vow from him.  He was telling me that he was all in, and he wanted that from me too.  Could I do that?

The wise words of Lesley's dad stuck in my head, "FEAR NOT!"

What did I have to lose.  If I gave it everything I might gain something really wonderful, but if I didn't, then I KNEW I would lose the opportunity to find out.

In that moment I finally felt at peace; I felt confident moving forward.  I felt like the pressure was finally off.  All the direction I had prayed for was clear.  All I had to do was give this relationship my absolute best, I I finally felt ready to do that.

I felt like I was about to start an adventure with endless possibilities and I WAS EXCITED!

The first picture Phil and I ever took together.

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The adventure still continues today!  

I had no idea what the future would hold when I said I was all in nine years ago, but I am sure glad that I did.

We have had our highs and lows, our joys and heartbreaks.  We have experienced marriage and parenthood and home-ownership.  We have grown spiritually and emotionally.

I know that Our Story will continue and I can't wait to see where our next adventure takes us!

But for now, I am off to meet my HUSBAND for lunch without our kids and relish our time together.

Our Story: Part 8 "Just Friends"

When you get back from spring break, those last few weeks of the school year feel bright, like you have a new lease on life.

UNLESS you need to have 'THE TALK' with your non-boyfriend.

I had made up my mind while we were on break that I needed to have a heart to heart with Phil and put our 'relationship' back in it's place...as friends.  But when I got back to school I was telling Lesley about the gift and Phil calling my parents.  She said that she knew about the gift and encouraged him to send it and she also told me that SHE gave him my parents phone number and never thought to tell me!

With the understanding that Phil hadn't fully stalked me without Lesley's help, I wasn't AS fired up.  But we needed to set things straight anyhow.  

Having realized that he cared for me more than I did him, I finally understood that my contradicting words and actions had to stop.  I couldn't say I wanted to be friends and then do things that looked and felt exactly like dates.  I had been justifying it to myself that because I had been telling him the truth and I hadn't physically given him any validation that I was not doing anything wrong.  But I was just trying to have my cake and eat it too.

Calling Phil up and asking him to lunch was the easy part.  Then we went to Jimmy John's and talked very casually over lunch and I couldn't get the nerve to start the hard conversation.  So we left lunch only to walk back to find a ticket on his car because I had drawn lunch out so long!

He drove me back to my house without really mentioning the ticket and before I lost the nerve I asked him inside so we could have a serious conversation.

I don't really think he knew what was coming.  Later he told me he thought I was going to tell him I wanted to date exclusively, so he was really caught off guard.

We sat across my kitchen table from each other and I broke the news:

"It's really hard for me to tell you this, but I kind of see you like a brother and I just want to be friends. But we can still hang out."

Isn't that how it's supposed to go?  Then the guy is supposed to say, "okay, I understand" but he keeps calling and they keep hanging out because deep down he thinks that he will still win her over.And deep down that is what she wants him to say too, because she isn't totally sure she wants to be just friends.

Except that isn't what Phil Van Gelder did.  Because Phil Van Gelder is as honest as the day is long and as pure as the driven snow.

Phil said to me, "Morgan, if that is really how you feel, then I want to respect your wishes. I can't turn my feelings off for you that quickly, so we can't hang out for a long time.  I am not sure that I can ever go back to being just friends."

WOW...GUT CHECK!

That maturity, that levelheadedness, and that character was unlike any I had ever experienced.  

It might have been pride, it might have been uncertainty, it might have been that I realized in that moment that I wasn't mature enough for a guy like him, but whatever the reason, I let him leave that afternoon knowing that he wasn't going to contact me any longer and that I was letting him walk out of my life.

And we wouldn't be just friends.

Our Story: Part 7 "Spring Break"

My 21st Birthday

Spring Break

My 21st Birthday was happening ON Spring Break with my girlfriends....IN FLORIDA!

I was THRILLED to be going on my first real spring break (not just back home) with my girlfriends.  We woke up on Saturday morning and ate the rest of my chocolate birthday cake for breakfast before our flight left because we were going to start this week with a bang!

Florida was a blast.  We did all the normal stuff, went to the beach, laid out by the pool, shopped, ate out, watched the IU baseball team at spring training (two of the girls I was with were dating guys on the team).  It was an awesome time!

I got these awesome pictures right out of my old school scrap book...

remember when cameras actually used film!

March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, we started my birthday celebration at Midnight by going out and drinking green drinks!

This was from dinner the night of my birthday...

I still have the keychain picture:)

March 18th (my actual birthday) my girlfriend, Robin, hands me a gift right before dinner.  I thought it was so nice of her to bring a wrapped gift for me, but she told me, "Oh, it isn't from me, it's from Phil."

WOW.  Okay, it was very thoughtful of him to send a gift with my girlfriend to Florida so I could open it on my actual birthday, but I don't know why it struck me odd that he felt he needed to do that.  We weren't even really dating.

After dinner some of the girls went back to the house and my girlfriend Jess and I met up with her cousin and we walked down the street to a huge dance club.  It was really nice to have an older brother type guy to look out for us and keep us safe.

As we were walking I got a call from my mom.  She wished me a happy birthday and then said,

"So, Phil called your dad today."

WHAT!?!?!?!?!

We must have had a bad connection, because I KNOW I didn't hear her right.

How had he called my dad? How did he get my PARENT'S home phone number?  WHAT DID HE SAY TO MY DAD?

Apparently he had been calling for days, but because my parents didn't recognize the number, they didn't answer.  Finally, he had called so many times the decided to pick up.

Phil talked to my dad and told him that since we had been spending time together he wanted to call and introduce himself.

Harmless enough, but I was FREAKED OUT!!!!

He was clearly taking 'US' way more seriously than I was.

IN MY MIND WE WEREN'T EVEN DATING!

I hadn't talked to Phil while I was in Florida.  He was in L.A. doing an internship for spring break so I knew he would be busy anyway.  Besides, what was I going to say to him over the phone? You are creeping me out. What were you thinking?

I decided to wait until we got back to school to sort things out.  In the meantime, I tried to forget about the incident and had a fabulous time in Florida and thoroughly enjoyed the rest of my spring break.

I would deal with our 'Status' when I got back to school.

Our Story: Part 6 "The Birthday Date"

Twenty one is a big one!

Phil asked me if he could take me out for my birthday before we went our separate ways for spring break.  I remember feeling kind of excited, so much so that I even went and bought a new shirt for our date (it was a plain white polo if you must know, so I guess I wasn't going too fancy).

I should have realized he was taking this evening pretty seriously when he pulled up and had flowers for me.  When he took me to Olive Garden he explained that Lesley told him it was my favorite restaurant (which was true).  This showed that he had been doing his homework and was really trying to be thoughtful.

As we finished up dinner, the wait staff all came over and sang happy birthday and presented me with a HUGE chocolate cake.  Phil told me he would have gotten fun fetti, but had to settle for my second favorite.  Again, this boy had planned.

After dinner we went to the mall to 'walk around'.  We would sometimes just walk the mall and window shop and talk.  I didn't think much of it when Phil said we should go into the pet shop.  Somehow in our six weeks of getting to know each other I guess I had failed to mention that I am not really an animal person.  While I didn't want to take a dog home with me, I guess I didn't mind looking at them in their cages that evening.

We had walked along the wall looking at all the cute puppies and making comments about the fluffy one, feisty ones and sleepy ones.  We got to the last cage and there was something hanging inside.  I looked more closely and it was an envelope.  I didn't catch on right away and so I mentioned to Phil, "hey look, that's weird, there is something hanging in there." He told me to look at it more closely.

My name was written on the envelope.

I was STILL too dense to know for sure if the card was for me...and I was a little creeped out that there might be a card for me in a dog cage, so I turned to asked the employee to come get it out for me.

It wasn't until I turned around to ask her that I saw a PACK of employees (all girls) HUDDLED together behind the register swooning and staring at us that I realized Phil had asked them to put it in there (I know, I am pretty dense).

Phil was great about it, even though I wasn't sure how to react.  I thought it was weird that it was in a dog kennel.  But after I thought about it later, he probably assumed that I thought puppies were cute and that they gave me warm fuzzies like a normal girl would.  I could cut him some slack, it was really the only thing he didn't quiet research.

We thanked the girls working there and walked out and sat down on a bench.

Things had been pretty lighthearted up to this point in the evening, but when we sat down, I could read Phil's expression that things were about to get PRETTY serious.

He asked me to read the card and I did so quickly while we sat there.  The gist of the card wasn't anything too serious, just that he had enjoyed getting to know me and enjoyed our time together.

I don't remember much of what he said after that, but I remember the message LOUD and clear...

HE WANTED TO DATE ME...EXCLUSIVELY!

He never came out and point blank asked for an exclusive relationship, so I was able to keep my response very non-committal.  I confirmed that I had enjoyed getting to know him too, and then I left it at that.  He didn't push me anymore to define the relationship then.

The evening was winding down and he drove me back to my house.  As he walked me to my door I gave him a hug for the first time as I thanked him for the evening.  That must have given him the courage to bring it up again, and this time he was a little more bold.

Phil asked me, "Do you think in the future we might become serious and exclusive?"

Unfortunately for him, he threw in that vague term, "IN THE FUTURE".

I took that literally, like, "hey, maybe if we keep hanging out like we have been for another six months, maybe then I will be ready to become more serious."

So I said, "YES, I COULD SEE THAT!"

OH, HOW WE WERE ON TOTALLY DIFFERENT PAGES!!! 

Our Story: Part 5 "Hanging Out"

Several days after our first hike, we got together again, this time for breakfast.  These "friendly" get togethers took place over the next six weeks or so.  We would usually do breakfast or coffee once or twice a week. Sometimes we would have dinner with my roommates or go to Sunday night church together.  Nothing too serious.

I know what you're thinking, "Why are you still hanging out with this guy if you aren't interested (or at least you say you aren't interested)?"  I was asking myself the same thing.

I think deep down, if I was being honest with myself, part of the reason I continued to see him was because he was 'safe'.  I wasn't really falling for him, but he was keeping my mind off dating anyone else and he wasn't really a threat.  He wasn't pushy and he was respectful.  We weren't very serious so I still had plenty of time to grow myself individually, which had been my whole goal all along.

Plus, who doesn't like to have someone interested in them.  It's nice to know that you have someone who will want to hang out on Friday night.  It's flattering to be wanted.

Sometimes I even thought, "this guy will definitely get sick of me and start to show his true colors."  I mean honestly, it had been 6 weeks without so much as a HUG.  No guy is that 'nice'!  I was kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, for his nice guy 'act' to wear off.

There was also the influence of my friends.  Several of my teammates, including my best friend and roommate, Lesley, had class with him.  They would come home and tell me how funny he was and what a nice guy he is.  I felt like they all wanted to keep him around more than I did.  Plus he makes a KILLER apple pie, so that didn't hurt either.

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After all this time, I still wasn't feeling any sort of spark.

As a matter of fact, I often told my girlfriends that he was kind of boring.  

It wasn't that he lacked creativity (some of our get togethers were actually very original), but his personality seemed boring.  He always seemed so serious, he rarely cracked jokes, he was very literal during our conversations (I can be a bit sarcastic), he even sat stilted most of the time.  While my girlfriends said he was witty and humorous in class, I barely got a wise crack out of him.  And I always felt like everything that came out of his mouth was calculated and carefully measured and then analyzed after he said it.  That just isn't my style.

The day before I left for my 21st Spring Break birthday in Florida with my girlfriends, Phil took me out for my birthday.

That evening our 'relationship' took a VERY pivotal turn...

At least in his mind!

Our Story: Part 4 "The E-mail"

IU had an online address book of sorts where you could look up anyone on campus' e-mail and dorm phone number.  It wasn't unusual or creepy for someone on campus to e-mail you without you giving out your address (this was 2004 people, if he had Instant Messaged me that would be creepy haha).  Sunday evening I was doing my homework like any good student when I got an e-mail titled "Inquiring Minds...."

It was from Phil and here is some (the abbreviated version) of what it said:

"It was a pleasure seeing you at church this morning....I won't take much of your time...I didn't find it appropriate to ask you in front of your guest this morning, but 'What is your availability?'...I don't know if you are involved, looking or just enjoying life.  If it's a possibility, I'd like to get to know you better."

**As a side note, once we had been dating for a while (spoiler alert, we got married) he gave me a gift of all the original e-mails we had exchanged.  It was months worth of e-mails and it was the sweetest gift.  I still have them which is how I remember verbatim what he said (I have a decent memory, but not that perfect!).

I'd be lying to say I didn't get those butterflies.  But I was smart about them.  I knew they were the kind of butterflies you get when you are flattered, not the kind that you get because of someone specific.

I responded with (again abbreviated):

 "...As far as my status, I am single, but honestly I'm not actively looking for anything because I feel like God will show his plan for me when the time is right.  With that being said, this may seem contradictory, but I would like to get to know you better also..."

I was truly torn.  I KNEW I wasn't ready for a relationship.  I had a lot of personal growing I needed to do still. And I was dating Jesus:)  I felt like a hypocrite telling him I didn't want a boyfriend, but my actions were saying otherwise by agreeing to hang out.

And WHY was I agreeing to get to know him better?  Was it because I actually was interested in him? Was it because I was flattered and like being pursued?  Was it because I felt obligated?  Or was it because this seemed different, because I had laid down groundwork and expectations first?  I really don't know what I was feeling, but I do remember thinking, he is kind of cute, but I don't even really know that he's my type, whatever that means.

After exchanging several e-mails back and forth, we finally agreed on a day and time to "HANG OUT" (let's be honest, it was a first date, I just didn't want to admit that at the time).  Our first date hang out was set to be a hike at Griffy Lake.

As promised, he arrived 2 minutes early wearing light wash baggy jeans, a big black coat and Timberlands (I am not sure what I thought of his outfit, but I was ready to go in my red IU hoodie, Northface vest and matching red Sauconys).

Our first date hang out was a huge success in my opinion.  As we hiked walked for an hour around the lake we had an excellent conversation which carried into coffee at Starbucks.  I sensed from our conversation that we had very similar upbringings and that his family was really important to him.  Conversation came easily but I certainly still had my guard up.

The date time together ended and he drove me home.  I made it VERY obvious that personal space was going to be respected.  I gave him an honest 'Thank you, I had a great time" and without so much as a hug, hand shake or high five, I climbed out of the car and went inside.

It had been a nice time, and maybe it was because I didn't want to get involved, or maybe it was because he wasn't the typical guy I dated, or maybe God was just helping me protect my heart, but whatever the reason

I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE THOSE BUTTERFLIES....

Our Story: Part 3 "Mutual Friend"

Jamie Baldwin, "Baldy" as we all lovingly called her, was one of my teammates.  She was a year older than me and had made it her mission to set me up.  Maybe I seemed clueless, maybe she just wanted to see me happy or maybe she just loved playing match maker and I was the only single girl she could think of.  Whatever the reason, she loved to try setting me up.  I had gone on a couple of dates with some of her other athlete (swimmer) friends.  I don't think I ever went out with any of them more than once.

Look how young Baldy and I were!

Naturally, between our past success rate (or lack there of) and dating Jesus, you can understand that when I got a phone call from her on a Saturday night at the end of January asking if I was currently seeing anyone, I was VERY quick to respond with, "NO THANKS".

Her pitch to me was that she had found the PERFECT guy for me.  They had classes together since they were both telecom majors.  

Her exact qualifications were:

-He is nice

-He is also from California

-He doesn't swear because he's religious

-He has straight, white teeth

Literally, I started laughing because if those were the only qualifications to date me, then what did that say about me!  My response was, "if he's so great, you date him".

She pleaded with me a little more, but I stood my ground.  Even if I wasn't dating Jesus, I did not need help getting a date....right?

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The next morning after Baldy's call was Sunday and I was so excited to bring my best guy friend, Dusty, to church with me.  Dusty was literally like a brother and his family was my college family.  I spent holidays with them if I couldn't go home and I would hang out with his mom regularly since my mom wasn't close.

Following the fellowship break at church that morning, Dusty and I walked up to the sanctuary doors.  AND GUESS WHO WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE?

THE CUTE BOY FROM CHURCH!

I literally had not seen him since that Sunday before Thanksgiving, three months prior.  I recognized him immediately, although I felt badly because I couldn't remember his name.  He greeted me, and said, "I hear we have a mutual friend."

The second those words left his mouth, all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place for me.  This was THE SAME guy Baldy had tried to set me up with.

I had to admit, she had done a good job this time, maybe she was on to something with this guy.

But I had a date with Jesus and I had to get Dusty into a seat before they were all taken.

So I quickly acknowledged to Phil (AHHHH...That was his name, I should probably lock that away in my memory) that we both knew Baldy and that she was a great girl with great intentions although she is a bit excitable.  Then I grabbed Dusty and headed to the nearest set of seats.

While I was a bit distracted trying to be a good hostess to Dusty, I have to admit I did wonder a little about this guy, Phil.  Would I see him again?  How was I going to let him down gently?  Who's to say he was even actually interested.  Maybe he was just being nice and obliging Baldy.

Church ended, I didn't see him afterwards, so I went on my merry way.

But I could tell I hadn't heard the last from him!

***Phil admitted to me later that Baldy had shown him my picture from the Field Hockey website and he recognized me from our encounter at church so he planned to try to find me at church that morning, while I on the other hand was totally caught off guard.

Our Story: Part 2 "Dating Jesus"

So I met this cute guy once at church.  Okay, big deal.  My life went on, as I'm sure his did, but our paths never crossed again.  Not at church or any other place.  As a matter of fact I didn't even think about him.  I couldn't even remember his name.  After Thanksgiving came Christmas which meant I went home for Christmas break.

Right before Christmas break the boy I had been seeing broke up with me.  Well, he started seeing his old girlfriend again without telling me and then avoided me like the plague, so I assumed he broke up with me. I know, I'm a sharp one.  With those inferring skills I could have been a detective, huh?

Actually, it was a great thing because while I was home for break it caused me to reevaluate some of my priorities.  I had allowed my relationships or my desire for a relationship take precedence over my relationship with Christ and I was tired of the person I was becoming.  Logically I understood that two whole people make a whole relationship and I wasn't whole.  God had some work to do in me before I was ready to give my heart away.

So while on break I very seriously recommitted my life to Christ.  Knowing that relationships had been a stumbling block for my faith, I committed that I would not date until I graduated college (I only had a year and half left, I could handle that right!?!?!?!).

When I went back to campus in January I felt renewed and reinvented.  Nothing was going to bring me down and no boy was going to suffocate my fire. As I explained it to my roommate, I didn't have room for a boy because....

"I WAS DATING JESUS!"

You'll understand later why this played such an important role in our relationship...Until Tomorrow...

Our Story : Part 1 "The Cute Boy From Church"

November 21, 2004

I will always remember that day because it was the Sunday before Thanksgiving my junior year of college and the day I met Phil for the first time.

For once in my life I was early to church (I was saving seats for a bunch of my teammates). I was trying to look 'busy' reading the bulletin even though I was literally the only person in the whole sanctuary (yeah, I was THAT early). Suddenly a VERY tall, decent looking, dark haired boy was standing next to me and asked if he could sit down.  I guess some other people had trickled into the sanctuary by this time, so it wasn't AS weird that he asked to sit next to me, but there were PLENTY of other entirely empty rows.

I nodded and pleasantly muttered something about how it was fine if he sat there.  As he sat down he stuck out his hand GIGANTIC hand  to shake mine as he introduced himself.  We exchanged pleasantries about our majors and he asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving, which led to the fact that I was from California.  Turns out he grew up in L.A. Like every other conversation I have ever had with a Midwesterner, the natural next question comes up, "so what brought you all the way from San Diego to Indiana?" So I explained that I played field hockey.

On cue, six of my teammates all walked in at the same time and sat down next to me, filling the rest of the row.  Gotta love these girls.  It was as if I was sitting there alone because the second their butts hit that seat they started barking out stories of why they were late, who's car wouldn't start, what shoes were missing, and on and on.  Finally, one of them noticed Phil and introduced herself briefly before jumping back into her story.

The choir started singing and all conversation ceased.

I didn't really give much thought to the boy sitting next to me.  I had a boyfriend and wasn't really looking for anything different.  All I really noticed about him was that he was well groomed, smelled nice and his hand was so big it covered the WHOLE cover of the Bible.

During the final song I felt a nudge and he leaned over, said it was nice to meet me, but he had to leave to get to work on time.  Then he left.

The service ended and I thought nothing of grabbing my purse to leave but all my girlfriends immediately started in with the questions about where my new 'friend' had gone.

Ummm....What?

Since we had been sitting together when they arrived they assumed we had come together and that I knew him.  After I explained that I had just met him they were super intrigued and gave him the nickname...

'THE CUTE BOY FROM CHURCH'

Original, I know!
Stay tuned for more tomorrow...