As women {and men} we spend a lot of time trying NOT to get pregnant until we are ready. When Phil and I got married I remember being freaked out just about every month that I could be pregnant {even though I never missed a pill}. I even called my mom crying the first month we were married because I had taken antibiotics for strep throat and flipped out that I could be pregnant {even though I had no indication that I was}. I cried that my life would be over before it had begun and how would I take the trip to Chicago the next month to visit Lesley {I was 22 years old and married, we would have been fine and as my mom said, you take the baby with you especially when they are still in your body, Morgan}.
With shows like, "Teen Mom" or "True Life: I'm Pregnant at 16" and articles about teen pregnancy on the rise, I was just convinced that the minute you were ready to get pregnant you would just look at each other and it was done!
Girlfriends of mine were getting pregnant 'accidentally' or 'weren't really trying' so in my mind I figured it was like anything else in my life; I would make up my mind and work at it and, voila, we would have a baby {the first month of course, because that again is how my mind works}.
So after having the "I-want-to-start-a-family" talk with Phil {which was very sweet and he told me that he had been ready since we first got married but since I was the one who would have to sacrifice the most he wouldn't bring it up to me until I said something because he didn't want me to feel any pressure} I went off the pill and expected that in 4 short weeks would would have a baby on the way.
Four weeks later I had a different visitor and although I should have known better, it still hurt and I cried. This happened for six months.
But I was doing everything "right"! I read everything online {by the way, don't you know that EVERYTHING is bad for you and you are going to die if you look at the wrong product...just read webMD, they will tell you how many ways you are killing yourself}, I was tracking my temperature and my mood swings and my goosebumps and anything else I thought would help {that was an exaggeration if you were wondering}. Still nothing seemed to work.
We hadn't told anyone {well, I told Lesley} that we were trying because we didn't want the pressure from others, but it became really lonely. Phil was much more patient with the process than I was, but it tore him up to see me crying once a month over something he couldn't control.
Why couldn't we get pregnant? We would be great parents {that is still to be decided by the way}, and we were healthy and fit and financially and emotionally stable {although I am not sure that I was emotionally stable during this time, but typically we are, or at least Phil is}.
I had read about fertility monitors on a blog and since I had already figured out my body didn't follow the 'typical' cycle of most women {Phil says 'of course, you aren't normal'} we decided that it was worth the money to take this next step and buy a machine that would hopefully help.
That night I bought a Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor off Amazon. I read the instruction booklet front to back {I am a bit of a planner and kind of OCD about stuff like that}.
Low and behold, just like I thought, I am not a 'normal' woman and I ovulate a week late. No wonder I wasn't getting pregnant.
The third month using the monitor was March. I specifically remember telling Phil, "I am not really sure I want to get pregnant this month because the baby would be due at Christmas time and I am almost done with my masters, maybe we should just skip this month and try again next month."
Two weeks later I woke up early on a Saturday morning and read the word PREGNANT on my first test! I didn't know whether to cry or laugh. I literally believed I would never see that word on a stick I had peed on. I had seen SO many negative tests {yes I was that anxious girl who took a test every month 2 days before I should have, just hoping it would have two lines}.
I had never felt so nervous and relieved at the same time. I ran into the kitchen and shoved the stick in Phil's face. Then I did start crying. The emotions were just pouring out of me and I don't even know what emotions they were exactly. {If you want to read the rest of our 'Finding Out' story you can click here.}
The reason I share this story with you is because although many women do get pregnant right away {and I am so thankful for you that you don't have to endure the heartache of waiting}, that wasn't my story, and it isn't the story of A LOT of women I know. It wasn't until I opened up {and I was pretty honest with people} and told people it took us a while {I know, in the big scheme of things 9 months isn't that long and many couples wait much longer, if ever} that more people started sharing stories with me of their struggles to get pregnant.
While it isn't a cure all, I do STRONGLY endorse the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor. Including my two pregnancies {we got pregnant with #2 the second month we used it this time} I personally know of at least 4 other women who had been unsuccessful getting pregnant and became pregnant after using it. It even helped a friend of mine determine that she had a minor fertility issue that was quickly treated by her OBGYN and she was blessed with twins:)
I am not undermining the fact that there are couples who have real, deep fertility issues and do require medical help, but this was a simple fix for us and a few friends of mine.
Ultimately, I know that I was made a mother in God's perfect timing, but that doesn't mean there wasn't a struggle and heartache along the way. Besides the wonderful lessons I learned through our journey of patience, trust, and I'm not in control, if my story comforts or helps just one other person I am grateful.
I think it is great that you posted this for others! If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have known about the monitor. It definitely saved us from further disappointment and frustration.
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