The Friendship Trilogy

I have been thinking a lot about friendships lately. I don't know if it is because I have moved recently and have been developing new friendships or reconnecting with old, but friendships have been on my mind. I had several different trains of thought so I figured I would cover my thoughts in three different blogs. I can't promise they will be coherent, or valuable to you, but hey, that is what a blog is for right!

Growing up I lived in the same house from birth until College. As a matter of fact, my parents still live in the same house. I was use to being settled. All five of us kids went to the same elementary, middle and high school. While I played a lot of sports and stayed busy, I would say I was naturally more of a homebody. Sitting in my room and reading on a Friday night was not that uncommon. I liked having my small group of friends and typically had one best friend at a time (Jennae in first-third, Devin in third-fifth, Aimee all of middle school, Teela and Shelby in high school among a handful of others). None of these friendships required much initiation on my part, because they were made out of convenience and common interests, typically at school. It wasn't that I didn't like being around people, I just liked to be around people I knew really well and had some history with.

Then I went to college. When you go to a college of 35,000 undergrads you are bound to make new friends. You meet friends on your dorm floor, you make friends in all your different classes each semester, there are the other athletes in my case, people you met at church or intramural sports, you make friends with friend's friends...etc. While some of these people turn into true friends, you are mostly perfecting the ability to make acquaintances. Again, just like earlier in life, these friends or acquaintances weren't hard to make because most of the time I didn't have to initiate any interaction. I was either approached or structures around me shoved the opportunities in my face.

But college isn't real life! Once you graduate, people aren't knocking down your door to become your friend. It isn't because people become meaner after leaving college and don't want to make friends, it is that life becomes busy after college and we become comfortable in our routine and our cliques and we get married and have kids and become BUSY!!!

While I never really liked initiating friendships, friends were REALLY important to me. I love having that best friend that I can call and meet up with for coffee. So after I graduated and got married, I realized if I want to have friends, I am going to have to make a concerted effort to PUT MYSELF OUT THERE!!! God must have known (imagine that) that I needed to grow in this area, because just when I would feel like I was starting to make some ground (and friends) He would move us again.

All the moves have developed my friend making skill and my confidence. Right after we moved to Indy I reconnected with my old friend Shelby who had also just moved here. She e-mailed me one day and said, 'hey I know this is strange, but some people from my office have a volleyball team and are looking for a girl to sub for them would you be interested'. Three years ago I would have said no for fear of meeting a whole bunch of people I didn't know, but this time I said yes. Not only did I have a blast playing, but I met a girl on the team who is also a stay at home mom, she invited me to be a sub for Bunco, I said yes (again out of character for me) had a wonderful time and now I am going on a girls weekend with her and some of the girls from Bunco.

Moving (and a lot of nudging and pushing from my WONDERFUL husband)has grown me so much as a person. I have become SO much better at stepping out of my comfort zone and reaching out to people. I take more risks when talking to strangers. Not only am I proud of who I am becoming, but I have made some REALLY amazing friends along the way. My next goal is to seek out the 'new girl' in town and make her feel as welcomed as so many people have made me feel in all my new cities as the 'new girl'. It is time to pay it forward!