I get to be THE ONE!

Well hello,

Little baby.

Your eyes have never seen the sun

You should know

Little baby

That I am the lucky one

I get to be the one to hold your hand

I get to be the one.

Through birthdays and broken bones

I'll be there to watch you grow

I get to be the one.

Don't feel alone now,

Little baby.

Do you hear me singing you a song

I can't wait to show you

Little baby

How to crawl

How to walk

And how to run

How does someone so small

Hold my heart so tightly

I don't even know you

I love you completely

I get to be the one to hold your hand

I get to be the one.

Through birthdays and broken bones

I'll be there to watch you grow

I get to be the one to hold your hand

I get to be the one.

Through birthdays and broken bones

I'll be there to watch you grow

I get to be the one.

-JJ Heller

Huge thank you to my friend Tarah for photoshoping these beautiful pictures for me!!! Check her out here!

Nine Months in Review

When I was 38 weeks pregnant, I would have BEGGED for the next two weeks to fly by.  I wished I would fall asleep and wake up two weeks later with a baby in my arms. 

Today, Aven is 2 WEEKS OLD and I wonder where the past 14 days went.  I want time to slow down, or rather STOP...literally freeze in this moment.  Aven sleeping in my arms while Emrie is down for a nap.  My life feels full and complete and I could stay here forever.

But alas, time keeps ticking forward, just as it always has and when I look back at the last nine months and the changes that took place, I am reminded of how fast it all goes and I want to savor every moment here and now!

A little photo journey through the last 9 months!

Aven's Aviary {Nursery}

Here is Aven's Nursery. Green, brown, pink birds...An Aviary Haven for our Aven!

Here are some of the personal touches.  I made these canvases for Emrie and just outlined them with pink for Aven.  You can see the tutorial here.

 A canvas I had made from our maternity pictures.

 Puffs with the mobile I had made for Emrie

 Cutest picture frame from Aunt Sus Sus...It has owls and says, "who loves you...I who"

Aven's nursery is pretty much Emrie's old one with some pink additions. Here is a comparison.

When Emrie Meet Aven

The next best thing to seeing my husband with our new daughter, was seeing our first daughter with her new sister!

I was very curious to see how Emrie would react to her new sister.  For a couple of months she had been pointing to my tummy and saying baby or sister {seeester}, but I am not sure she really knew what that meant.

An hour and a half after Aven was born, Nana and Papa brought the proud big sister in to meet her little sister for the first time.  I am not sure if it was seeing me in a hospital bed or if she had just woken up from a nap, but she seemed pretty reserved.  Phil held Aven and sat down in a chair.  He called Emrie over and she slowly and tentatively walked over to him.  She didn't say anything and she was looking back and forth between him and the baby.

Slowly she broke out in a huge grin and said, "HI BABY!"

That was all it took.  She was awestruck from there.  She wanted to kiss the baby and hold her and she was so gentle with her.

When they came back later that night to visit again, the nurse wheeled Aven in from the nursery and Emrie said, "My Baby?" and wanted to hold her.

Our first morning at home as a new family of four I walked into Aven's room to find this!

I could not be happier than when I see my girls together!!!

Aven's Arrival ~ Part 2

Pulling into the hospital parking lot was a very different experience from when we had Emrie.  As good first time parents we checked out two different hospitals before deciding where to deliver with Emrie.  We had taken the tours and knew their policies.  This time I just picked the hospital based on where my doctor delivered and where my friends said they went.  We didn't take a tour and I didn't even know what entrance led to the maternity ward!

The parking lot was empty and calm since it was 8:45pm.  Phil made the comment that even though I wasn't sure I wanted to be induced, it sure was a calm way to get to the hospital and at that moment I definitely agreed.

Phil pulled up and asked the valet where the maternity ward was. She didn't know and she didn't ask to park our car which I thought was odd.  So we parked in the parking garage and walked to the lobby, followed the signs to the maternity ward wandered around a little more and found the nurses desk to check in.

After we got settled in our room and the nurse spent over an hour getting paper work and whatnot done I finally had my IV in {by the way, that had to have been the worst part.  She blew a vein in my arm and it was gushing blood so she had to put the IV in my hand and it hurt like crazy} and they hooked me up to the fetal monitoring system.  The nurse immediately asked if I was feeling those contractions.  I hadn't mentioned anything to Phil partially because we were distracted and it didn't really hurt and partially because I wasn't really sure if they were contractions or if I was just wishing for them in my head.

After watching the contractions on the monitor and confirming for myself that they were in fact contractions, I was elated!  I actually had gone into labor on my own!!!  Because the contractions weren't long or strong yet {I wouldn't have come in on my own at this point} they decided to give me 1/4 pill of Cytotec to induce labor farther. Then it was a waiting game. 

We were supposed to get some sleep, but between the hard bed, contractions, IV pain in my arm and hand and the stupid blood pressure cuff that went off every hour and then set the alarm off because my BP was low, there was not much sleep happening.

Here is the timeline of how it went down:

9:00 pm- Got settled in our room started feeling small cramps {contractions}
10:00 pm- Started the IV
10:30 pm- 2.5 cm dilated
10:45 pm- Started Cytotec
11:15 pm- Hard cramping {stronger contractions}
1:30-2:30 am- Got some sleep
3:30-4:30 am- Got some sleep
4:30 am- Contractions started getting stronger
5:00 am- 3 cm dilated and 60% effaced
5:00 am- There was a small break in my water
5:20-6:00 am- We started walking the halls
6:00-6:30 am- Tried resting in bed {big fail}
6:30-6:45 am- Tried walking the halls again {way too painful and I had to stop every couple of steps to brace myself for a contraction}

At this point the contractions were starting every 3 minutes and lasting for 80 seconds each.  This went on for a couple of hours.  Just as I would catch my breath from one contraction the next would begin. Not only was I having contractions in the front, but I was experiencing back labor as well.  I didn't know which hurt worse, the pain in my abdomen or the pain across my back.  As I was walking the halls I had my IV pole that I was using to brace myself through each contraction.  Poor Phil.  I would be talking and walking normally and then stop in the middle of the hallway and put my head down, hang on to that pole and hold my breath.  He would stand there and rub my back, but he had to feel pretty helpless.  Finally, I came to my senses that I was really in labor and could ask for the epidural.

7:15 am- Received the epidural

The nurses kept saying it would hurt, but at that point I didn't care.  It did NOT hurt at all compared to the contractions, and really it was way less painful than the stupid IV that had been in my hand all night.  It simply felt like a pinch and then the sweet relief of what felt like ice water running down my entire back.  Within a few minutes my right leg was numb and then a few minutes later my left and I was in heaven!!!  I couldn't feel any pain, but I was still able to move my legs and feel pressure.

7:30 am- Nurse change from LaTisha to Tracy
8:00 am- Fell asleep
8:05 am- Needed an oxygen mask because the baby's heart rate dropped due to my receiving the epidural
8:30 am- 5 cm dilated
9:30 am- 6 cm dialated and 100% effaced
9:30 am- My doctor came in and broke the rest of my water
9:30 am- Fell asleep again

10:30 am- The nurse came back to check my progress.  She had to wake me up.  I was shocked to hear her say I was complete.  She looked at me and said, "let's get a practice push in".  I laughed and said that would be fine, but I didn't feel the urge to push yet.  She got Phil next to me and the three of us did one practice push.  She had me stop and she said, "don't push anymore, I need to get the doctor in here."  I was a little surprised to hear that since I still didn't really feel like I needed to push, but I trusted that she knew what she was talking about. 

11:00 am- My doctor came in along with the baby nurse.  I don't know if it was the adrenaline or the hormones or epidural or what, but I started shivering and shaking uncontrollably.  Thankfully, Phil was my rock and he stood holding my hand reminding me to take deep breaths that helped calm me down.  The doctor and nurse got into place and it was go time.

I gave three pushes, the first dropped the baby, the second produced her head and the third the shoulders and she was out all in one contraction.

11:07 am- Aven Rhyse Van Gelder was born!!!

She weighed 7 lbs. 15 oz. and was 20 in. long

She didn't cry much when she was born, but she was beautiful.  The nurses said it was because she was born so quickly and swallowed so much amniotic fluid {she still hardly ever cries, so I wonder if it isn't just her nature}.  She looked just like Emrie with dark hair only not as chubby and she sucks her bottom lip under.  I instantly fell in love with her and holding and feeding her for the first time was so rewarding and fulfilling {such a different experience than Emrie. I had a little trouble feeling attached to Emrie for the first several months actually although now she is the love of my life}.

Aven is the PERFECT addition to our family and it feels so complete having her here!!!

Aven's Arrival ~ Part 1

40 weeks seemed like it would NEVER come, so when it was getting close and it still didn't appear that Aven was anywhere near ready to arrive, I began getting anxious {and tired of being pregnant, I just wanted to bend over without holding my breath}.  I wanted to experience going into labor naturally since I had been induced with Emrie {her due date was Christmas day so we chose to induce a few days early so she wouldn't have to share her birthday with Christmas.  I went into the hospital without any dilation or effacement so we pretty much started from square one with her.}

The night before my weekly doctor appointment Phil and I were talking about asking to be induced.  He knew I wanted to go into labor on my own, but he also knew I was miserable just waiting.  He asked me which I wanted more, to experience labor naturally or to have her out?  Very valid question, but anyone who knows me knows I am way too impatient to wait if I don't have to!

At my doctor appointment on Wednesday, June 27 I discussed induction with my doctor.  She said she could try to get me on the schedule for the following Thursday.  When they called the hospital to try to schedule an induction they found that there were no available slots due to many people trying to get scheduled around the 4th of July holiday.  Basically I was not going to be able to be induced until the following week, putting me at 41+ weeks.  Then I got a phone call from a nurse on Friday afternoon saying they could put me on a wait list to be induced on Sunday night {my actual due date}.  I figured I wouldn't get in, but I said I would take it.

The weekend was wonderful, despite the fact that it felt like a waiting game to have the baby.  Phil and I spent a ton of time with Emrie going to the pool and dinner and just playing.  Sunday afternoon we were at the pool and I was waiting for the phone call from the hospital, but it never came. We put Emrie down for a nap and went to the basement to watch a movie.  It was around 4:00pm so I assumed there was no call coming as it was getting too late in the day. 

At 5:20 pm on Sunday July 1, the hospital called and said they could get me in tonight to be induced.  I needed to show up at 9:00pm.  I got off the phone and looked at Phil and as I was telling him they could get me in, I began crying.  The reality hit me.  We were no longer going to be a family of 3.  When I looked over at Emrie who was playing on the floor in the basement and Phil siting next to me on the couch, I was overwhelmed with emotions: fear, excitement, worry, relief, sadness...everything. 

Phil was so supportive.  He held me while I cried for a minute, then went into Phil mode helping me pack my bag and Emrie's bag {no, I had not packed, silly I know} while being so positive and doing his best to bring peace and excitement to the situation.

After I showered we got Emrie in the car, picked up dinner and went to Ray and Marcia's {Phil's parent's...aka Nana and Papa} house to drop Emrie off.  We hung out at their house until it was time to go to the hospital and then we kissed our only daughter goodbye and left to embark on the adventure of expanding our family.

40 weeks

 Heading to the hospital

 Me with my only daughter for the last time!

Aven Rhyse Van Gelder

Aven {radiant} Rhyse {alternate spelling for Reese meaning running or enthusiastic}

A while back I wrote a blog about our sweet baby girl's name, but since then, it changed slightly.  So after you read that post, come back here as I pick up telling Aven where we left off!

Since your dad and I couldn't agree on our first choices {mine being Lyndan and his being either Jenson or Henson}, I mentioned my second choice, Reese {which seemed appropriate since I ran most of my pregnancy with you and we are enthusiastic about having you in our family}, and he said he loved it. So there it was...you were named...ALMOST!

Since Emrie's middle name is significant, I wanted to make sure you had a significant middle name too...but we didn't like any of the names left from our families, so we were stuck again. For several weeks I worried about this issue, we even tossed around new first names and using Reese as a middle name, but I had already started calling you Reese and it seemed weird to change your first name now because that is who I saw you as.

After we had talked about names to exhaustion on vacation, I came home and made a list. As we were laying in bed one night I told your dad I was going to read him my list and he could say yes or no. We had gone through almost the entire list and surprisingly had a few left on there.

Out of the blue, your dad said, "you haven't said anything close to this name but what about Aven?" {One of the names I said was Finley which made him think of Ohio and he said it made him think of places we had lived and he mistakenly thought there was an Avian or something like that near us in Ohio, which there wasn't, but that is how he thought of Aven}.

Aven! That was it. That was the middle name I had been waiting for. I loved it! The best part was that when I looked it up, it means radiant, which made me love it even more.

Reese Aven was going to be your name.  We called you that for about a month, but something just didn't quite seem right to me.  I couldn't shake the feeling that I liked the name Reese but LOVED the name Aven.  So I talked to your dad about it and he said I could pick which order the names went in. 

But I was still having trouble deciding.  So I did something I never thought I would do, I talked to two close friends and told them both names and asked their opinions.  They both affirmed what I already suspected, Aven Reese it had to be!

I came home and told your dad that I wanted you to be Aven Reese and he whole heartedly agreed.  Aven was unique and feminine, but sounded strong too. The problem became, we couldn't decide on a spelling.

Originally I wanted to spell it Avyn just to be even more different, but I also like Reese spelled Rhyse but didn't want both names to have a Y in them.  Two things made the decision easy.  Your dad said Aven needed to be spelled with an E because the Y looked too childish and Emrie has a Y in her middle name and both our boy middle names also have Y's in them so I figured it could be a family theme {if you ever have brothers}.

Your dad and I literally decided the final spelling for Rhyse over text message while I was in labor.  He was in the side room watching a movie while I was sort of napping after the epidural and we started the discussion.  He was concerned that people wouldn't say Rhys right so we should spell it like the candy. But, I thought Rhyse looked pretty and even though phonetically it should be spelled without the E on the end, your dad and I thought it looked more complete with it and since it is your middle name, dad didn't mind how we spelled it as much.

That is the long, over thought journey to how you became Aven Rhyse Van Gelder!  We think it is a beautiful name and it suits you perfectly!